Friday, October 21, 2011

File under "Rants I wish I'd articulated as awesomely"

...or "Blog posts I wish I'd written."

I have never run across Doug and his God-Eat-God Worlds Blog before yesterday, but I now wish I was his best friend.  He has written and extremely vulgar, profane, over the top, passionate defense of New Orleans in response to a pretty smugly written piece elsewhere on the internets singing the praises of Los Angeles. Where I would have rolled my eyes and maybe G-chatted some snark about the Richard Simmons thing (SERIOUSLY: WHUT.) Doug exploded into an EPIC RANT that perfectly encapsulates not just the reasons that I (and others) love New Orleans, but the sheer force of that love despite all its many flaws, and in a way, because of them.

You can read the rant in its full glory here. I also recommend reading the comments - there's some equally passionate agreement (and disagreement) that's great to read.

Since I do try to keep this a family friendly blog (uh, due to my family who reads it) there are only a few of my favorite reasons I can quote in their entirety:

22. Above ground cemeteries, some Masonic in nature, spread all over town. They are undoubtedly the prettiest way to have your corpse thrown into a hole.
13. There are over 400 festivals in Louisiana a year. There are only 365 days. We party more and harder than anywhere in this Puritan country, and we do it better. Jazz Fest is our most famous, but I seriously can’t begin to list them.
12. Uptown & The Garden District. It’s like walking into the 19th Century, only the racism is less obvious now. The flora is gorgeous and allows you to actually breathe clearly, unlike most of some cities I know. Once again, the food is plentiful and delicious, and the events are spectacular.
10. We aren’t small, but we aren’t big. You can get anywhere in New Orleans or its surrounding metropolitan area in 15 minutes. Locals call that a “commute” and bitch about it. Seriously, try getting anywhere in even Atlanta in 15 minutes, let alone LA. You know where you’ll be? The entrance to your goddamn neighborhood.
5. The French Quarter. It’s like the island in Pinocchio where all your evillest fantasies can come true, only you don’t turn into a donkey. Despite what people from LA or New York might believe, it’s more than Bourbon Street, though. It’s Frenchman, the last bastion of the Jazz dive. It’s Royal Street, a 14 block art gallery. It’s lower Decatur, where locals and Goths, gutter punks, the middle class, and the service workers all hang out together. It’s the Marigny (a different area but still attached), where the poets and the beat kids live. It’s real culture instead of stolen. It’s not a ghetto where we keep our ethnics like your Chinatowns or your Little Ethiopias. It’s where our city started. We are the French ghetto of the entire country.
 Seriously, the rant must be read in its entirety to fully appreciate the spittle flying passion and gusto of this ode to and defense of New Orleans.

(OMG, just saw his tag cloud- he's a Joss Whedon nerd!  OMG WE MUST BE BFFs IMMEDIATELY)

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